You are not Caitlyn Jenner, and you know it each time you look in the mirror.
You are denied the doctor’s who would write you a prescription without batting an eye, and when you venture to tell your doctor that something isn’t right, you are told “it’s just a phase”
You do not have the money for waxing and electrolysis, and struggle with a cheap plastic BiC in the shower and wear long pants so no one will notice that your legs are smooth.
You do not have the clothes that Caitlyn Jenner has, and, in fact, depression has caused you to put on a few pounds and if you tried to fit into white bustier you would feel like a sausage in a too tight casing, and would give anything just to be able to wear a simple dress and nice shoes.
Your hair is not styled to perfection and you want it to be longer, but then people might notice and you simply aren’t ready for that.
You have a name, a name that is not the one your parent’s gave you when you were born – instead a name you whisper to yourself in the dark, a name that is feminine and pretty and no one says it out loud but you.
Or maybe it is a masculine name, and makes you feel strong and manly. But you can’t get the hormone treatment you need because it is too expensive and when you say it out loud the voice that whispers your true name is too high and too girly, and you scrunch up your face and sigh.
Perhaps you have asked politely over and over again for those around you to proper pronouns, but no one ever does and they don’t even try to correct themselves.
You are not as white as Ms Jenner, and that makes this road so much harder. In a country where black voices are often marginalized, trans people of color are doubly so.
The mental and physical health care is out of your reach, and you forever wonder if you will be trapped in the body you are in because you are not Caitlyn Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner is surrounded by privilege and money and gets to be free to be who she truly is, but such things are not for you because you are not Caitlyn Jenner.
Yes, dear one, you are not Caitlyn Jenner but you are just as important and deserve everything she has. While the world is dazzled by the femme fatale on the magazine cover, we have not forgotten that there are so many more out there who are not Caitlyn Jenner.
You are loved and cherished.