I decided to stay on our theme and talk about Pet Play for this edition of Five Myths.
First, we need to get this out of the way – pet play is really nothing new. Think of our fascination with comic superheroes – Catwoman, Wildcat, Batman, and Wolverine -these are all ‘heroes’ taking on some of the characterization of pet play. In the same vein, puppy play, pony play, kitten play, pig play, et al are someone taking on characteristics of an animal for a kink purpose.
1. All submissives are required to do this – Not true. While pet play does require at least two people – a submissive and a dominant – not all submissives and dominants do this type of play. However, it does require a dom and a sub to do it. The sub takes the role of the pet and the dom takes the role of owner.
2. The sub is always acting as the chosen animal – Pet Play can be taxing to the body, especially if it involves eating from pet bowls and using leashes. Pet play can be sporadic – only during scenes, or it can involve incorporating some parts of pet play into everyday life – i.e. wearing kitty ears, or a tail plug. However, someone always acting as an the chosen animal is rare.
3. It’s weird. – OK, not exactly a myth but this can be a case of “your kink is not my kink”. However, I have watched a lot of pet play scene, and the one thing that seems to be a common thread is that it is fun. The sub acting as a pet is having fun, as is the dom – it’s playtime without the paddles, whips and other things we associate with BDSM.
4. It’s another form of bestiality. – I know we addressed this with Furry Play, but the same holds true here. This is simply not true. This doesn’t mean that the Dom and sub won’t have sex while pet play is going on, but often the ‘pet’ is seen as a hybrid of the sub and the pet, a form of personification and anthropomorphism. For instance, I know subs who hiss when in scenes where pain may be involved. This is the only cat characteristic, and in all other ways they are still the human sub. See? It’s like a blending of the two. In this way, they do not see sex with the ‘pet’ as sex with an animal, but sex with their sub who is displaying some characteristics of the chosen pet. Again, people who do pet play tend to have a much higher bond with animals and would not do something to harm them, and bestiality is definitely seen as harm. (Note: If it’s not clear here, bestiality is NOT part of the BDSM. Along with incest, scat, child molestation it makes up what is considered the ‘Four Taboos’ of BDSM. They are not practiced or accepted in the BDSM community.)
5. All pets are ‘owned’ – There is this myth that to be a ‘pet’ or to do ‘pet play’ you must be owned by a dom who has collared you. Being collared in the BDSM world is not ubiquitous, and not every sub wants to be a sub all the time or to just one person. Furthermore, a collar can mean many things – it can mean they are ‘owned’ by a dom, or that they sub exclusively, or they just like it for the party they are at. Not all collars mean that person is into pet play, or that they are someone’s pet. See how confusing one simple aspect of BDSM can be? This is why we always stress communication. How you think things are may not always be that way. The point here is that if you are a sub and dom and just want to dabble in pet play, it’s perfectly alright to do that. There are plenty of people who will act as owner or pet for a scene or two. And, like I said, it’s fun. MEOW!
Are you interested in Pet Play? I’ve added a Pet Play Resources to our site. Peruse at your leisure, and make sure to Keep It Kinky!
(Do I get points for not resorting to pet puns? I totally do. It’s cause I’m purrfect.)