Define your terms. Asexual – “someone who does not experience sexual attraction.”
#1 Asexuals can’t have relationships
False. Romantic love and sexual desire are two different things.
#2 Asexuals just can’t have sex.
Nope. Ability has nothing to do with it. It’s about desire. It’s like you seeing a guy (or girl) and thinking “Gee, he’s super nice, but I don’t really want to jump his bones.” Now imagine you feel that way about everyone.
#3 Asexuals don’t masturbate, have sex, or are virgins.
Just because you don’t have the sexual attraction most feel doesn’t mean you don’t have some sexual need (though it can). Many asexuals have partners and will engage in sex, but do so without the sexual desire non-asexuals feel.
#4 You just don’t know what gender you are
Asexuality is not associated with gender issues. See my post of 5 Myths About Transgender
#5 Asexuals just don’t know how awesome sex can be
This one makes me laugh, hard. One of the most sexual literate people I know is asexual. There’s no cure, no pill, no amount of sex that will ‘cure’ asexuality.
Great resources for Asexuality
(these sources are complied from this blog)
- Wiki pages for asexuality, demisexuality, and grey-asexuality.
- AVEN’s general FAQ page. They also have a specific FAQ for family and friends of aces, and a specific FAQ for people in relationships with aces or aces in relationships.
- Psychology Today article about asexuality.
- Asexuality: A Brief Introduction is a free PDF book available here.
- The Asexuality Archive has a variety of Ace 101 articles, which are listed here.
- Demi Grace. A forum for anyone who falls under the grey-asexual or grey-romantic umbrellas.
Required Reading: Articles that everyone should read.
- In Defense of Demisexuality. For anyone who says that demisexuality is “normal” sexuality or not a real thing.
- How to Have Sex With an Asexual Person. Really, most of grasexuality’s blog should fall under the heading of required reading.
- Basically all of the Asexuality Archive, but especially these posts: Asexuality Myths and Misconceptions, Asexuality and Celibacy, Coming Out Advice, “But Asexuals Can’t Masturbate!”, and How Old Do You Have To Be To Know You’re Asexual?
Asexuality in the Media: By request, I compiled a list of media featuring ace characters here, and here are links to other forms of media people have recommended to us, and other posts on the subject. x x x
Aromantic Resources: People and places that people with questions about being aro may find helpful.
- Aromantic AVEN Wiki entry.
- Ask An Aromantic.
- Aromantic Aardvark. This blog also has an excellent FAQ.
- Aromantic Secrets.